Life's a Mother Fucking Beach

This is it for the week because tonight Brooke and I take off for a sunny, beachy, cocktail-filled vacation – basically just carrying on our normal everyday schedule but at a beach house in Long Island instead. (You could almost call it a staycation, but then you'd die, in accordance with the agreement I signed with myself earlier this year to eradicate the use of the phrase AT ALL COSTS.)

Also though it will be much different due to the fact that we'll be there with my parents and all our New York friends, meaning nude yoga is definitely out of the question* and we will have to pleasure each other sexually the old fashioned way, by secretly exchanging erotic and sometimes graphic notes to one another – though for all Brooke's prowess in the sack past experience indicates this method might be a bit unsatisfying.

The beach house is something of a tradition in my family. This will be our 11^th, 12^th, or 13^th year going (I'm not big on traditions) and though it may seem silly to fly 2,000 miles to go to the beach when you live in Miami, the two locales couldn't be more different. Where we're going is a little town on Fire Island called Davis Park. The only way to get there is by ferry, and there's no cars – or roads for that matter – on the island. It's just one main boardwalk with a dozen or so sort offshoots leading to quaint bungalows and the occasional driftwood mansion. There's a fire station and a post office, though most of the addresses are something like "12 Sandy Lane" or "5 Board Walk," so I imagine people are too embarrassed to have anything important shipped there. There's no street lamps and very little cell phone reception and the overwhelming feeling is that you are secluded on a somewhat primitive island. I'm kind of describing it like the ideal place to commit a murder, but really it's quite lovely.

So that's where I'll be until Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. In the meantime, have fun Yearbooking Yourself.

In 1960 big chins were all the rage.

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* Not that we've ever done that, but this definitely won't be the weekend we start.