It Was Only a Matter of Time

How come when people get away with crimes like murder or car-jacking everyone’s all, “Well that doesn’t seem very fair.” But when a thief gets away with an awe-inspiring robbery it’s cool? The AP explains:

JERUSALEM (AP) — It took time (Ed. Note: Ha!), but Israeli police detectives have cracked one of the country's greatest crimes — the legendary heist of a priceless clock collection from a Jerusalem museum a quarter century ago.

The heist baffled police for more than two decades. But detectives now blame Naaman Diller — a notorious Israeli thief who fled to Europe and died in the United States in 2004.

Diller was renowned for daring break-ins and an ability to keep one step ahead of the law. He meticulously researched sites for hours and used innovative techniques that earned him the admiration of the same people who were trying to stop him.

"He was a legendary robber. He was very different, very intelligent, and had a unique style," Yaniv said.

Well that sounds fascinating. I wonder how he did it . . .

According to police, Diller used a crowbar to bend the bars on a back window of the museum the night of April 15, 1983, and behind the cover of a parked truck climbed inside with a ladder. Having staked out the museum, he knew the alarm was broken and the guard was stationed in front.

I’m no professional thief (or am I?), but I’m pretty sure using a crowbar during a robbery is about as innovative and unique as using lettuce and tomato on a turkey sandwich. If these are the standards for Israel’s most daring and notorious crimes, they should hear about the time I made off with five of my sister’s chocolate chip cookies. When she wasn’t looking, I took them and ran. Incidentally, it’s the same way I stole Judy Price’s virginity in high school. True story.

(This post is part of a multi-part series aimed at helping distract me from the stress of election day. May the best black man win.)