The Best and Worst of 2008

Consensus says 2008 sucked. You know what else consensus says? That consensus is a whiny bitch.

You know what year sucked? 1812. It was so bad they named a war after it. Or how about 30 A.D. You know who would have led off the Academy Awards’ “In Memoriam” segment that year? A little guy named JESUS. Certainly the death of the son of God and savior of mankind trumps a boring, old financial collapse, no?

I say there was a lot to be happy about in 2008. If you look at the past year as the beginning of a relationship with a crazy girlfriend, then hey, good news: The worst is over. She’s already set your house on fire, drunk-dialed your mom, and in one particularly inspired bout of lunacy killed a neighborhood cat with her purse. But you know what? Many years from now when you’ve settled down and the meds have permanently altered her brain activity, you’ll both look back on 2008 and laugh through tears of joy.

So over the next three days, I plan on laying out the best and worst of 2008. This will in no way, shape or form be a comprehensive list. I’m working today, flying back to Miami tomorrow, and going to the beach (JK Awesome Employers!) working Wednesday. But we’re talking about posterity here. I’d be remiss to not make some time for posterity, because everyone knows that the only thing more important than posterity is hope. And dry socks. Always carry dry socks.

P.S. If there are any particular events from 2008 that you think deserve a shout out, let me know and I’ll consider their candidacy. Just note that most of mine involve female nudity and revenge-fueled acts of bravery, so keep your standards high.