Best New Movie Announcement of 2008: Arrested Development

When Arrested Development went off the air in 2006, a little piece of me died. I didn’t fly off the handle and do anything rash like drive a truck into FOX corporate headquarters (couldn’t afford a truck) or go on a hunger strike, because deep down I knew that Jason Bateman would want me to eat. So I bought the DVDs and made everyone I know watch them. I spread the joy of the chicken dance, considered myself caught up on 27 years of charity work, and moved on.

Then came word that the fabled Arrested Development movie may actually happen. There was jubilation, but there was also backlash. Some critics say, Why have sex with the corpse of a former supermodel when you’ll just be disappointed? I say, You won’t know unless you try.

As it stands now, most of the show’s actors are signed on for the project, with the notable exception of Michael Cera who apparently is content to leave well enough alone. Well here’s a little history lesson for you, Michael: This country wasn’t founded on leaving well enough alone. When Lois and Clark made it to the Mississippi, did Clark look at Lois and say, “Hey honey, maybe we should turn back? The kids are waiting at home.” NO! They forged on, killed Indians, and took what was rightfully theirs, because as husband and wife, they understood that even though life gets worse and the sex gets boring and it’s all downhill after that first date, that doesn’t mean you stop trying.

Which, not uncoincidentally, is my motto for 2009: “2008 doesn’t mean you stop trying.”