Some Post-Election Thoughts

• My mom’s reaction: “Yeah!!!! By the way, new movie coming. Slumdog Millionaire. Looks fantastic.”

• Ohio totally stole Florida’s thunder by going for Obama first. The whole reason I moved down here was so my vote could count, and by the time Florida was called the whole thing was an afterthought. Now what? I just live down here for the beach and no state income tax? Really?

• Much like Jon Stewart, I’m having trouble living in a world without election news, voting ads, and poll numbers.

• Something that needs fixing ASAP: Microsoft Word’s spellchecker still suggests “Osama” for “Obama.” He’s the president-elect for Christ’s sake.

• The cover from the British newspaper The Sun of Super Obama charging to the rescue is both ridiculously over-the-top and kind of ridiculously awesome.

• Oprah Winfrey in the crowd at Obama’s victory celebration was amazing. More than anything she seemed terrified at being surrounded by so many people. When a random woman touched her shoulder in celebration, the look on Oprah’s face was like, “What just happened? No one’s touched me since 2003.”

• I know it’s not McCain’s fault that everyone booed at the mention of Barack Obama during his concession speech, but you know what they say about d-bags of a feather . . .

• Stop the fucking presses. CNN has hologram technology? When the hell did this happen?

Here is a list of people who, to the best of my knowledge, don’t have hologram technology: NASA, the U.S. Army, Microsoft, and China. In fact, the only people who might have hologram technology are aliens. And now CNN. Unless CNN is run by aliens, I’m a bit blown away here.

• In other CNN technology news, John King loves that touch screen. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has one installed in his home, and when the maid comes over he gives an interactive presentation on how he wants her to clean the house. “See this here?” (taps bedroom, enlarges screen, circles under the bed) “That’s a dust bunny.”

• The AP reports that Obama will immediately start receiving highly classified intelligence briefings. I can’t even imagine how cool this must be. Just imagine him sitting there like, “Holy shit, that monkey hosting the news in China is working as a spy for us? I never knew!”

• I’m not gonna lie: Different time, different place, Campbell Brown and I could have been very happy.

• Not only did Brooke and I have some awesome Hope Sex^TM last night, but I brewed some delicious Hope Coffee^TM this morning and made us a couple of Hope Sandwiches^TM, too. And I’m sure we weren’t the only ones. I predict that in nine months, blue states everywhere will experience a sudden influx of Hope Babies^TM, meaning that Democrats have the 2028 election IN THE BAG!